I’ve always been sensitive to the fact that everybody handles situations differently. We will never know how we would handle something unless we are the ones going through it. Teresa never judged me and often nodded her head at me at the idea that I was convinced that chemotherapy would never make me sick. I stood tall with my water bottle plastered with pink ribbons, my wig that made me feel like the little mermaid and she just nodded. I remember her being so hopeful for me, yet knowing the reality of what was to come. It wasn’t until 24 hours later that the overwhelming feeling of sickness sat in like something I will never be able to describe in words.

Over these past few weeks as I’ve watched her prepare to meet Jesus, I’ve learned such an important lesson. God was teaching me through Teresa as I am now on the outside looking in. In the hospital and the agonizing times at home away from her, I was craving and was desperate to be needed, to help and to serve her. Something I never understood why so many banded together to serve me. Their hearts really did ache. I understand what so many around me were feeling as well.
Sheer heartbreak.

You will forever and ever and ever be missed until my eyes open one, two, three, four times, to the gates of Heaven.

~Teresa Clifford ~

Psalm 86:11

Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.