Being at church this morning was another sign that this will be used for his good.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (NIV)

I’ve read this verse before (or heard this verse before). I understood what it meant. But today ripped it apart, and it will be my driving force for the book. I’m going to write this book. It’s going to happen. This shit storm will be used for God’s glory. It will be used for others. I promise that. I refuse to let this sickness have been just “a mistake” in my genetic makeup. God knew. His plan is greater than our minds can even begin to process.

Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. (NIV)

I will never understand his plan until the day we are face to face. But what I do know is that he has chosen me for some crazy reason. Maybe it’s my passion and stubbornness. Maybe it’s like Paul’s towering rage and consistency that he sees in me – my determination to make this be known and to use it for his good. And only his good. I am determined. More than ever.

I will fight the enemy who will continue to push me away from this idea. This idea that is woven in my story. He will absolutely not have any control over me or my purpose. And I will fight him till my God takes me home and my battle is won.

God is not the author of evil (1 Corinthians 14:33).