Even just a little

Most people around me know that fall is my most favorite time of the year. I’m willing to sacrifice and have stuffy, runny noses and sneezing to let the fresh cool air come into my home. There is something about breathing in the crisp Carolina air that just makes you feel refreshed and cozy at the same time. I love all the scents of fall. Pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, every fall Yankee Candle possible is lit during the few months of this beautiful time of the year.

While in the motion of opening my window the other day, it reminded me of how I can open my window to Satan just the smallest amount and he rushes in. Not with a cool crisp breeze but with anger, resentment, judgment, and defeat all straight to my head and heart. His evil angels work overtime as they see the opening. And then he’s in.

Feeding me words of negativity and shame. He’s so powerful. I am constantly reminded of the spiritual fight I’m in sometimes daily. My eyes are fixed on the Lord, yet my own anxieties and insecurities allow Satan to push himself in and start the tear down of destruction. I hate him.

He tells me I’m not a good mother or wife. My cooking sucks. He makes me feel like there is no way I could do that or that something will not be successful that I’m pouring my heart into. He speaks evil words so loudly and often that he manages to trap me. This trap can last for minutes, hours, and sometimes days. I fully rely on the community around me (my husband, friends, family, and church) to pull me out. Sometimes we are not strong enough to pray for ourselves. It MUST be done by others.

There is no shame in this for me after I’m pulled out of the wreckage. I’m simply at peace and can see that others have struggles as well. I see clearly that God’s arms are open for me, his child. I can feel his love for me pouring in. I can feel his cool crisp breeze on my face when I open the window to let the fall air come in.

Lord, let my eyes and ears be wide open to hear and see your word.

Philippians 4:6

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.