I’m going to title this Part 1 because this is a subject that has been and will be a struggle for some time, I’m sure.

It’s a struggle getting back to life again. Things I didn’t have to think about before:

1. Chemo brain (wait what?)

2. Doctor appointments

3. Aches and pains

4. Fatigue beyond the normal

5. Diet change

6. Exercise not for fun, but because I have to

7. Chemo brain

8. Cells, moods, body, mental state functioning differently

9. Clothes not fitting right

10. The fear of when is it coming back

I’ve always been a Mom on the move. I liked to exercise at the Y, eat protein bars, and run around like a crazy person. It’s what I did. It feels different now. I wonder sometimes if I’m in a rush because I’m afraid of the time. I’m afraid that this is all going to end again. I’m afraid I’m not going to get in all the things I want to do with my kids, my husband, and myself. Which in a sense is odd because on the other hand I cannot wait for Jesus to come and take us out of this misery.